Grappig, lees dit effekes:)

Duderuud

Admin
Crew
19 mei 2001
30.198
217
Ede (Gelderland)
www.motor-forum.nl
#1
A software engineer wrote:

Subject: Failed Upgrade
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space
and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the
product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other
programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all
other system activity. Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and
Saturday Night Pubs 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
selected. I cannot keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
some of my other favorite applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance \'n\' Drink
2.0 and Bachelor Party 7.77. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend
7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Once I tried to
uninstall Wife 1.0 but got this error: \"General Protection Fault in module
House Security. The Uninstallation will abort.\" Can you help me, please?

Here was the reply from Tech Support:

Re: Failed Upgrade
This is a very common problem among men, but it is due mostly to a primary
misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the
idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0
is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still
convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or
purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed. You cannot go back to
Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried
to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the
original system. Look in your manual under \"Warnings-Alimony/Child Support;\"
this was given to you at time of registration with Wife 1.0. I recommend you
keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed
myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults (GPFs). The best course of action will be to enter the
command C:\\APOLOGIZE. In fact I would suggest you use this command every
time Wife 1.0 crashes on your system. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very
high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the
performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0 or
Movies 4.5. Do not, under any circumstances, install Visual Secretary With
Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is
likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Recent surveys
show add-ons like Visual Dress 2.0, Diamond Necklace 3.0, and A Quick Tour
To Temple 1.0 are the best Third Party tools supported by Wife 1.0 to allow
it to run smoothly and effectively.
Best of luck!
:)
 

Boom Boom

MF veteraan
9 jul 2001
4.237
0
43
Amsterdam
#2
damn, dit is oud!!! Dit heb ik nog in Wp formaat gekregen. Maar het is wel leuk om nog een keer door te lezen.

Ook leuk om te zien dat ik me weleens afvraag of iets wat ik hier post wel op het forum thuis hoort, maar als de koning der koningen, de founder van dit forum met dit soort gein komt, dan is het hek van de dam (en helemaal met rev en pooh als mods)
 
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Maximum

Banned User
6 sep 2001
5.267
0
Sweet Lake City
#6
Deze is ook leuk :)

A group of girlfriends went on vacation and they see a five-story
hotel with a sign that reads \"For Women Only\". Since they were
without their boyfriends, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a
very attractive guy, explains to them how it works...

\"We have 5 floors... go up floor by floor, and once you find what
you are looking for, you can stay there.\"

\"It\'s easy to decide, since each floor has signs telling you
what\'s inside\" So they start going up, and on the first floor the
sign reads \"All the men here are horrible lovers, but they are
sensitive and kind\"... the friends laugh and without hesitation
move on to the next floor.

The sign on the Second floor reads \"All the men here are
wonderful lovers, but they generally treat women badly\". This
wasn\'t going to do, so the friends move up to the Third floor
where the sign read: \"All the men here are great lovers and
sensitive to the needs of women.\"

This was good but there were still two more floors so on to the
Fourth floor, the sign was perfect. \"All the men here have
perfect builds; are sensitive and attentive to women; are perfect
lovers; they are also single, rich and straight\" The women seemed
pleased but they decide that they would rather see what the fifth
floor has to offer before they settle for the fourth.

When they reach the Fifth floor, there is only a sign that reads:
\"There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that
there is no way to please a woman.\"
 

Boom Boom

MF veteraan
9 jul 2001
4.237
0
43
Amsterdam
#10
dan ook nog maar een formuletje van mij (ook als attachment).

Proof that girls are evil:

First we state that girls require time and money:
Girls = Time x Money

And as we all know time is money:
Time = Money

Therefore:
Girls = Money x Money = (Money)2

And because money is the root of all evil:
Money = root (oftewel wortel van) Evil

Therefore:
Girls = (root Evil)2

And we are forced to conclude that:
Girls = EVIL

:+
 

Maximum

Banned User
6 sep 2001
5.267
0
Sweet Lake City
#11
Can you please advise me. I\'m having some problems. I\'m currently running
the latest version of Girlfriend and I\'ve been having some problems lately.
I\'ve been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 all along as my
primary application, and all the girlfriend releases have always conflicted
with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won\'t crash if you run girlfriend in
background mode with the sound turned off. But I\'m embarrassed to say I
can\'t find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and
it works okay. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my
Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing
incompatibility. I probably should have stayed with girlfriend 1.0, but I
thought I might see better performance with GirlFriend 2.0. After months of
conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience
with GirlFriend 2.0. He said that I probably didn\'t have enough cache to run
girlfriend 2.0, and that eventually it would require a Token ring to run
properly. He was right --- as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled
itself. Shortly after that, I installed girlfriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs
were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it gave me a virus. I
had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while.

I very cautiously upgraded to girlfriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe
first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a
while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system! Then I
tried to run GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but
GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature that I didn\'t know about that automatically
senses the presence of any other version of girlfriend and communicates with
it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions! The
version I have right now works pretty well, but there are still some
problems. Like all versions of girlfriend, it is written in some obscure
language that I can\'t understand, much less reprogram. Frankly, I think
there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the
desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware,
you usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And I\'ve never liked how
GirlFriend is totally \"object-oriented\". A year ago, a friend of mine
upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a
Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He discovered that
GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don\'t upgrade to Fiancee
1.0. So he did. But soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he
describes as a \"huge resource hog\". It has taken up all of his space, so he
can\'t load anything else. One of the primary reasons that he upgraded to
Wife 1.0 is that it came bundled with FreeSexPlus 1.0. Well, it turns out
that the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access
to FreesexPlus, particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of
that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do
anything. Although -he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw
1.0 which has an automatic pop-up feature that he can\'t turn off. I told him
to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said that he heard if you try to run
it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files
before doing the uninstall itself, Then Mistress 1.0 won\'t install anyway
due to insufficient resources. Can you help??